Straight from the Horse's Mouth

Hi There!!!

I figured it was high time (percocet induced of course) for me to come on and write a post to those of you who have been following my recovery so closely. First of all, I feel absolutely great right now considering 3 weeks ago to the day my internal organs were being serial molested (and I signed up for that...). Its amazing and ironic to think that my biggest complaint right now is the fact that 14 hours of surgery has rendered my hands nearly useless. I guess that some things are not meant to be easy or convenient, and I dont think they would be completely worth it if they were. I am currently writing this post solely using my ring fingers, so you can imagine how much this facet of the recovery sucks. While the rehabilitation itself has not been as bad as I thought it would have been, I am sure you all understand what an ordeal these past 21 days have been on Lindsey and myself (not to mention friends and family as well). Now that boredom has set in at home, I have taken to rereading some of Lindsey's posts to piece together some of the days that I do not recall. I have constant memories of each and every day beginning with waking up from the procedure on a ventilator, but some of the minor details still escape me. That's not to say that's a bad thong though, as the initial (read: past and current) pain is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

The most important thing is that the most difficult part is behind us, and I dont think that any doctor on this planet could have accomplished what Dr. Sardi did with my abdomen. As many of you know, the days and months leading up to the surgery I was in a great deal of discomfort that I was constantly hiding. Fortunately, I did not wait too long and it seems as though my surgery was just in time for the surgical team to remove the vast, vast majority of cancerous cells from my abdominal cavity. For this, I thank God as well as Dr. Sardi who could have just as easily passed on my case as he did to "solve" it. Without all of that nasty stuff inside of me, I feel new and healthy again. Like i told Lindsey recently, its going to take some getting used to to remember what it feels like to be healthy, but its something that I am enoying now and look forward to in the future.

Finally, I wold be the worst person in the world if I didnt thank everyone who helped me through this.

To all of you reading and commenting on the blog, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the constant support and goodwill that you have sent my way. It has been an utterly humblng experience to go back and read each and every comment several times. I greatly appreciate that you all see a great amount of mental and physical strength in me, but without all of you that wouldnt be possible. Whether it was the guys at work making fun of my flowered shirt to take my mind off of things, or the guys at home getting together to watch a baseball game there was not a day that went by that I wasnt cognizant of the fact that I was not battling this disease alone. It is much easier to be the first into fight when you know there is an army backing you up.

To David and Amy, who have been right hand men to me and Lindsey throughout, again I cant thank the two of you enough. The days you spent In Baltimore were just what Lindsey and I needed and could not have come at a better time. I know Lindsey realy needed the company and some like minded souls to find a good hapy hour with.

To m father and Elizabeth and Jason, I thank you all for the constant moral support, financial support and good spirits that you bestowed upon us during the trip. I know that it was not easy for the three of you to see me in pain, but you can all take solace in the fact that I am free from pain and ready to move on so that we can enjoy each others company in a happier setting than the oncology ward of a hospital.

Finally, to my dearest Lindsey. What you have been saddled with is the most unfair thing in the world. To be 26 and have to both understand and deal with this with me has been the hardest thing in the world for me to deal with. The amazing job that you have done with this blog as well as my care is something that I could not have imagined in my wildest dreams. I suppose that I should be thanking your parents as well for raising a daughter that has not only looked hardship n the eye, but rose above it to make it manageable for myself and everyone else around. You were my rock during the hardest times, and smile and kiss that you gave me reminded me that I didnt want to let you down either. You really were the glue that held this entire thing together, and not for a second did I ever doubt that you would do the amazing job that you did. I only wish that you never had to do it. I am so glad that we can soon start enjoying ourselves again without the weight of the world on our shoulders (or in my abdomen).

I promise I will post something more "doug-like" as you all like to say in the future, but for now I just wanted to say thank you to everyone (especially my beautiful Lindsey) and let you all know that although my recovery is going well, I still accept presents and cards and more specifically visitors and well wishers. Ill be here for a while, so feel free to drop in anytime to say hello.

Thanks again for everything, I could not have done this without each and every one of you.

Doug